"...Your
child might have an IEP."
"Ten
Ways That Confirm You Are a Parent Of a Child With Sensory Issues"
Top
Ten signs ... that you're going to have a bad IEP meeting
AND
yet another ten signs that you are going to have a bad IEP meeting.
AND
YET Another six signs that you are going to have a bad IEP meeting.
Do
You Like These IEP's
(written in Dr. Suess style)
"...Your
child might have an IEP."
In talking with families many seemed confused about whether their
child had an IEP through the school. To assist families in determining whether
their child has an IEP, we felt it would be helpful to apply the Foxworthy test.
1. If you have ever attended a meeting at school with 25 professionals... your
child might have an IEP.
2. If you are the only one wearing jeans.... your child might have an IEP.
3 If these professionals speak a different language.... your child might have an
IEP.
4. If the meeting room was the size of a closet... your child might have an IEP.
5. If you have ever been asked, "do you think your child is the only one in
the district?"...your child might have an IEP.
6. If you have ever heard, "we do not have money for that!"... your
child might have an IEP.
7. If you have ever been called an "overprotective, hysterical parent"
or an "uninvolved parent"... your child might have an IEP.
8. If you have ever been told your child "will just grow out of it",
"is lazy", "slow", irresponsible", "immature
and/or sensitive" etc...etc... your child might have an IEP.
9. If you feel you have walked into "Assertiveness Training 101" by
accident...your child might have an IEP.
10. If you have ever been screamed at by a school official...your child might
have an IEP.
11. If you have ever been told your child will be lucky to grow up and dig
ditches...your child might have an IEP.
12. If it has ever been suggested to move to another District...your child might
have an IEP.
13. If you have ever been invited to home school your child... your child might
have an IEP.
14. If you have ever called the school and asked for your child and were told
"we do not have anyone here by that name..." your child might have an
IEP.
15. If your family is ever discussed in the teachers lounge... your child might
have an IEP.
16. If every time you call the school board office, the person you need to talk
to is in a meeting...you might have an IEP.
17. If a meeting with the school has ever been rescheduled more than twice to
the time you definitely can not come...your child might have an IEP.
18. If you have ever been patted on the shoulder and called "honey" by
the principal...your child might have an IEP.
19. If it has ever been suggested all your child needs is a "good spanking
to straighten him/her up..." your child might have an IEP.
20. If you have been asked by a teacher to "just sign it!"... your
child definitely has an IEP...
21. If you have ever been called Ms Whitesomething... your child might have an
IEP.
22. If you know your advocate's phone and fax number by heart...your child might
have an IEP.
23. If you have ever been forced into due process, state court, the district
court of appeals, federal court, or the federal circuit court on a fast track to
the US Supreme Court... your child might have an IEP.
24. If you are known as a due process queen... your child might have an IEP.
26. If you can quote federal statutes in your sleep...your child might have an
IEP.
27. If you have ever requested your child's records and it took two years to
receive them...your child might have an IEP.
28. If you have ever been told, the district doesn't care if you sign the
IEP or not, services have ceased...your child might have an IEP.
29. If you have crossed out the words "Procedural Safeguards" on your
copy and written in "Procedural Land Mines"... I know I have...then
your child definitely has an IEP...for what it's worth.
30. If a new teacher went to pull your child's cumulative records and had to
make two trips to get it; your child might have an IEP/ You've been through a
Due Process.
31. Your child might have an IEP/ you've been through a Due Process if
[enter state DOE legal head here] knows you.
32. Your child might have an IEP/you've been through a Due Process if you sign
all your letters, " I look forward to your written response on or before
ten (10) business days."
BACK TO TOP
"Ten
Ways That Confirm You Are a Parent Of a Child With Sensory Issues"
1. Instead of lists to organize your schedule, you start doodling
Mayor Johnson pictures.
2. A statement like "Our OT ordered AIT, ASAP, to help with SI" makes
perfect sense to you.
3. You order at a restaurant not necessarily what you have a taste for,
but according to food color and texture.
4. You go new clothes shopping at second-hand shops (no breaking in necessary!).
5. The barber tools required for your child's haircut includes sedatives, a
flashlight or night vision goggles, and a scissors silencer.
6. You break into hysterical fits of laughter when the doctor sends in only one
nurse to give your child his immunization, and she exclaims "It will only
take a second!"
7. Seven different meals need to be prepared for your family of four.
8. The thought of your child's upcoming dental visit gives you anxiety
attacks that require medications and therapy.
9. You do a dance of victory after dry-kissing your daughter and she doesn't
wipe her mouth afterwards.
10. You start wearing your socks and underwear inside-out because it really does
feel more comfortable that way.
BACK TO TOP
Top
Ten signs ... that you're going to have a bad IEP meeting
10. The IEP invitation lists "drive-thru" hours.
9. When you get to the meeting, the staff wants to know what you are doing
there.
8. They give you complimentary white flags and tissues.
7. Your child's student ID # is 666.
6. They try to convince you that the attending speech therapist really is the
janitor's identical twin.
5. You find yourself explaining that...the regs say they can use IU's for
related services, not I-O-U's.
4. The special ed coordinator says "Have we got a place for your kid!"
3. They think "inclusion" is some type of venereal disease.
2. The staff is bumming because their label maker burned out.
1. You over hear the staff talking about the Least "resisted"
environment.
AND
yet another ten signs that you are going to have a bad IEP meeting.
10. You are greeted outside the building.
9. No seat for you at the table.
8. Everyone is smiling.
7. The Supt. of Schools calls while you are there.
6. The Principal announces that she/he will attend the entire meeting.
5. Everyone tells you that they already know your child.
4. The Guidance Counselor asks you, again, for your phone number.
3. Guidance Counselor tells you that they know you don't need another copy of
"Guidelines for Special Education."
2. They act disappointed that your child is not in attendance.
1. They announce Special Ed kids will now wear uniforms so that the staff can
easily identify them and provide all necessary support.
BACK TO TOP
AND
YET Another six signs that you are going to have a bad IEP meeting.
6. when they start the IEP with a prayer
5. When they ask to update the social history with "There haven't been any
more children ..........have there?"
4. when you have your own coffee mug in the conference room
3. when the chairman knows how you like your coffee, prepares your coffee
....Then sniffs it first!!
2. when they start the meeting by explaining that the teacher's union will
absorb any costs that your homeowners will not cover regarding the therapy
needed by the last classroom teacher
1. The REAL trouble occurs when the chairman goes to straighten his tie AND
THERE IS NO REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR
BACK TO TOP
Do You Like These
IEP's
(written in Dr. Suess style)
I do not like these IEP's
I do not like them Jeeze Louise
We test, we check
We plan, we meet
But nothing ever seems complete
Would you, could you
Like the form?
I do not like the form I see
Not page one, not two, not three
Another change
A brand new box
I think we all
Have lost our rocks
Could you all meet here or there?
We could not meet here or there?
We can not fit anywhere
Not in a room
Not in a hall
There seems to be no space at all
Would you, could you meet again?
I can not meet again next week
No lunch, no prep
Please hear me speak
No, not at dusk, no, not at dawn
AT 4 PM I should be gone
Could you hear while all speak out?
Would you write the words they spout?
I could not hear, I could not write
This does not need to be a fight
Sign here, date there
Mark this, check that
Beware the student's advocat (e)
You do not like them
So you say
Try again! Try again!
And you may
If you will let me be
I will try them
You will see
Say! I almost like these IEP's, I think I'll write 103
And I will practice day and night
Until they say
You got it right.